Making sense out of love 2

Things become even more complex when humans display associated symptoms to normal physiological functioning. For instance, hunger may be associated to a strong feeling of abdominal emptiness or pain, sometimes even nausea or headache. Some people may experience changes in blood pressure and heart rate, increased salivation and somehow the brain manages to tell you what you should eat based on your prior exposure to memorable meals, that is to say, you start wondering and brainstorming in the world of food cravings. Certainly, your entire body reminds you of a pattern to which you are very used to, a food frequency pattern that is deeply engrained into your brain. All of these "instinctive" behaviors not only are reminiscent of our animal evolutionary nature, they constitute the most crude downgrade for those who think they are special or different from the rest of the living organisms. We need food for survival on a daily basis, this is a punishment, not a blessing, we are sentenced to eat.
Indeed, it is not the fact that we are born programmed to feed ourselves every certain amount of hours that makes us unique. What makes us really interesting study subjects is choice. Choice lies at the top of human reasoning. It is our capacity to select what we want to eat, and how we want food to be prepared that makes us distinct from other organisms, some of which just eat what they find or hunt. As a consequence, an entirely different part of the brain takes over such irrational ideas as a strong desire for barbecue pork chops -who really needs them, right?-, for example, and transform appetite into a complex structure of thoughts: "I want pancakes for breakfast, no butter, lots of maple syrup; they ought to be spongy, not toasted, warm and slightly moist, perfectly round and thick". We can even add a certain flashback to our choice: "Just like my mom used to make them for me when I was a kid", and this even makes our choice even more specific..."exactly with these characteristics", most of which are based on good memories. Mostly memories of taste, smell and texture, but also joyful times, or significant moments, such as graduation nights, or dates with a loved one. As long as we have known Pavlov's principles of conditioning we understand why we start feeling all sorts of emotions when remembering a taste, a meal, a place. Things get even more complex from here on. Overweight  people tend to feel happier when they eat. This is not a statistical fact, but obese people are some of the joyous people I have met. And eating makes them almost ecstatic, usually due to intense reward mechanisms: "you've been good, you may go for the chocolate dessert with extra toppings, you deserve it".

Try to compare eating to having passionate sex: there is a feeling of need and avidity, there is happiness, and delight; there is taste, smell and texture, there is and intense climax during mastication and swallowing, there is resolution of hunger, followed by a feeling of satiety, peace and satisfaction.

On the other hand, people seeking gym bodies, who feel they have a suboptimal physique get anxious around food, feel guilt or remorse after eating, get depressed or experience many types of worries: "this many calories mean this many minutes in a spinning machine", "I am severely violating my strict diet", or even worse "this meal is going straight to my butt!". Food may well be a foe, not a friend. Nutrition has taught us that some comestibles can be very harmful to humans, some foods can kill us. However we are always led by our choices, whether they are good or bad, preferences make us unique. You can always choose to eat a dessert when you go to a restaurant. You are not forced to eat the whole dish. You may skip the soup or the vegetables and go straight for whatever drives your appetite into turbo mode. And of course, you can even choose not to eat. In fact, choosing to avoid eating, especially when you are supposed to according to your habits, which may sound more like a caprice or a perversity towards your own health, is one very rational solution. You may want to think of it as rational in the sense that it goes beyond the irrationality of hunger and food desire, it opposes your wishes of mere natural behavior, and even takes you on a totally new direction. Almost unexpectedly can we tell our brain and body: "no, I am not eating, I choose to ignore this urge". And we do. And it doesn't kill you. It may not make you any stronger, but it doesn't kill you. Nonetheless, the entirely opposite scenario is also plausible, in which you may be full and you choose to have a couple more bites of an extra dish.

It turns out that people induce all kinds of feelings on us, just like food. Some people drool when they see someone sexy and attractive, some may slightly bite their lips and roll their eyeballs. Some may get so "happy" to see a significant other, their genitalia get engorged. Some of these feelings are so irrational that really make no sense whatsoever. Who has not felt the butterflies on their tummies when they are surprised by an unexpected look or touch, or even by the presence of someone appealing. Falling in love is accompanied by an unusual state of emotions. I like to think of if as a psychiatric condition: a delirium.

Have you ever wondered if you can choose not to fall for someone you really, really like? It sounds kind of easy to answer. Can you choose not to feel the erratic butterflies? Can you avoid the rush of emotions, the heart beating at a maximum, the sweaty hands and feet, the weak knees and the troubled speech? Can you? Can I? I understand that you may avoid eating your favorite fruit de mer, even if just thinking of it reminds you of its taste, and you start craving for it. Could you possibly not feel attracted to someone? Can you choose what someone makes you feel?

(Will continue in a third post)
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